Thanksgiving was really hard, I knew it would be but I under estimated the emotional impact of not participating in food traditions. I mean like tears underestimated. I kept telling myself that while I won’t overindulge in the future I will eat roast turkey again. I made Sourdough biscuits for Lucas and Popcorn for John, and while I absolute do find Joy in cooking for others this remains a tender spot for me.

I made myself Turkey Jello, I thought it would help me deal with the feeling of being left out, it did to some degree. This was just a hard day emotionally…